cascadingfailure | Yuletide 2

[ Once you enter the Escape Room, a series of messages pops up on your phones: ]

TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!

[ And then everything goes white... ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...where's the other ingredients for your secret burger?

THE POWERS OF JOVIALITY MUST BE UNITED. THE COOKIE SAUCE. THE SPECIAL SOUSE. THE JOVIALITY BUNS. AND PURE WATER...BUT YOU WOULD DO WELL NOT TO DISPLEASE ME...

What's up with the King, anyway?

How come you and him don't get along?

That is three questions, which requires three answers. Do you wish to displease Lonard?

Uhhh, nope, not at all. Just like. Pretend I didn't ask em.

But if maybe, like. Y'know. You wanna talk about yourself, some, to help me understand, without any questions......

THE AGREEMENT HAS BEEN BROKEN.

You have greatly displeased Lonard. The entire building shakes with rage and fury.

BULLET HELL MODE ACTIVATED.

Legendary Ballpit Ball WCDONARDs have been released and now form nearly undodgable curtains of bullets throughout the entire WcDonalds! This will make the coming battles much harder...

For now, all idols in the WcDonalds must roll 1d10.

[7]

You avoid the Legendary Ballpit Ball WCDONARD.

[Yikes]

[Don't try and be smart with the clown dude, got it]

[Which is to say, heading over to check out Grimace]

Grimace looks at you.

There is no time to talk; not if you do not have proper tribute.

[Offers him a Sweer Potato...?]

This is not the proper tribute.

[Offering up some fries. And if that fails, going back to the kitchen to get some more nuggies and offer those]

The fried are not proper tribute, but the nuggers are.

"The Three Goddesses, who's power surpasses Frivolity, Joviality and Festivity, have been lost for eons. It is said one gave in to her passions for frozen snacks, one has been lost to a person seeking remedy for wrongs committed against them by WcDonald's, and the other was lost trying to rescue a family entrapped within the WcDonald's F U N Z O N E, after being pursued by the dead...NUGGER..."

Thanks, dude. I appreciate it.

[He hesiattes, then heads over to the whatever-the-hell-this-thing-is to examine it more closely]

It's just really unnerving.

[It sure is]

[Leaving this thing alone and heading over toward the counter, to check out that and the menu]

An order can be placed for the following items on the menu:

- Christmas Edition Chicken Nugger(6) + French Fried [[and the FREE TIGER POSTER!]]
- Sweer Potato
- French Fried
- Christmas Edition Chicken Nugger(6)
- Secret Souse

All orders cost 0.99 MONIES. You can order from an employee without MONIES, but this may displease Lonard...

Yyyyeah, not in a hurry to do that again.

[But anyway, here's Nem, so going to talk to her for a sec]

[Heading back over to the 3D mural to take a closer look, now that no one's in danger of dying]

[What's up with that weird guy on the far right?]

There does not seem to be anything particularly unusual about the mural. It is simply as jovial as Lonard® himself is, and the various mascots featured alongside him fill one with a craving for Premium WcDonald's Joviality Meals™ even if it too has been partially marred by the Damned Queen's holly jolly magicks.

There is no guy. That is not a guy. There are however pixels here, which are completely unreactive.