Yuletide 2 - Battle 1

[cascadingfailure]

[ Once you enter the Escape Room, a series of messages pops up on your phones: ]

TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!

[ And then everything goes white... ]

Comments

[heavenlyvisitor]

[ nods. ]

Try it, and if something happens, I've got your back.

[bondsofsuffering]

[Going to try and quickly grab a gift box to bring back with him without disrupting anything else, hopefully?]

[cascadingfailure]

Congratuation! Get equipped with:

GIFT BOX (Wrapped)

It is a gift box.

[heavenlyvisitor]

You did it!

[bondsofsuffering]

[Bringing it back to Tenn.]

What do you think the chances are it's filled with some kind of poisonous gas or something...?

[heavenlyvisitor]

...Higher than I'd like. Open it, though.

[bondsofsuffering]

Alright...

[Let's open up this gift box!]

[cascadingfailure]

Please roll 1d6.

[bondsofsuffering]

[1]

[cascadingfailure]

The box explodes!

Everyone in the room becomes afflicted with two of the following status effects:

- Bone hurting (your bones hurt)
- Broken arm
- Punctured ear drums
- Flowers growing from skin
- Tuberculosis
- Severed hand

Congratuation! Get equipped with:

Gift Box (Unwrapped)

Wow! An open box!

drugs...

Some sort of injectable liquid, complete with a complementary syringe! Who knows what it'll do to you. Dare you even make the attempt?

MiniMASAMUNE

A replica of a replica of a replica. Fits in the palm of one's hand.

[bondsofsuffering]

[Well now his bones hurt and he's got flowers growing out of him, that's

fine.]

I hate being right.

[heavenlyvisitor]

[ he also has flowers growing out of him. he coughs wetly --- when he looks down at his palm, there's blood. ]

...Half-right. It wasn't poison gas, at least.

[bondsofsuffering]

Right enough.

Maybe we should try coming back here later. We might be "underleveled."

[heavenlyvisitor]

The other option was the Manor. If we're too underleveled for this, we're too underleveled for the final boss.

[bondsofsuffering]

There might be other things to loot that don't involve boxes exploding in our faces before we get to the final boss.

[heavenlyvisitor]

[ siiiigh ... ]

Fine. Let's go.

[bondsofsuffering]

[Going to head back to the lobby and then to the manor proper!]

[cascadingfailure]

Proceed.