cascadingfailure | Yuletide 2

[ Once you enter the Escape Room, a series of messages pops up on your phones: ]

TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!

[ And then everything goes white... ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Roll 1d10.

[8]

Wow! Nobody's ever escaped the Obstacle Course before! The skeletons and [[OBSTACLE COURSE PUNCHING BAGS]] will go hungry tonight!

You escape the Obstacle Course successfully, grabbing a bottle of [[SUNLIGHT]] with [[ORANGE AND TANGERINE]] and [[SOME HEALTHY JUNK]] too.

Congratulations! Get equipped with:

Power of the Sun (False)

Wow! This is a half-drunk bottle of [[THE GOOD STUFF THAT KIDS GO FOR]]! Drinking the rest of this will cure you of one status effect and make you glow slightly. It also is [[HIGHER IN CALCIUM AND VITAMIN D THAN THE LEADING BRAND]]!

If you take off the lid while there is still liquid inside, it functions as an ultrabright flashlight, as if you were almost a Laser Master.

[Sweet]

[Pocketing that, and heading for the jungle gym]

Ready to have a fun time climbing through tunnels and riding down the slide, you enter the juNGLE GYM HOLY SHIT ARE THOSE SKELETONS? THERE ARE TWO SKELETONS

[Whhhy are there skeletons]

[What are they, like. Doing]

The skeletons are inactive. They're just hanging out. You do not have to worry about being chased by them.

[Somehow not as reassuring as one would hope,]

[He pushes onward, climbing the jungle gym to explore the lot of it. The slide, too]

It's a fun time. The slide is fun too.

[Maybe in any other situation,,]

[Heading for the ballpit next]

[9]

In the ballpit, you discover a mystical portal, as well as years of accumulated child grime and trash, and more skeletons.

If only there was some way to empty the ballpit...

[Can he just toss the balls out,]

Even as balls are removed, the ballpit replenishes. This is the coveted WcDonald's LOSS PREVENTION SYSTEM, designed to prevent children from siphoning away the precious supply of Legendary Ball WCDONALD. If only there was some way to simply keep all the balls safely away from oneself while descending into the pit...

[So you know that thing where you try literally every item in your inventory on a puzzle in a puzzle game?]

[Yeah, he is doing that]

[Poking it with a sweer potato]

[Giving it a fry]

[Shining the Power of the Sun on it]

[Rubbing the balls with the secret sause and the joviality buns still in their packages]

[(He is bad at puzzle games)]

Well.

Now the ball pit is just.... gross.

[Who are you kidding, ball pit, you were covered in child grime anyway]

[In any case, climbing back out again and heading back to the dining area]

Edited 2022-02-02 06:29 (UTC)

Yuletide 2 - Battle 1

Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

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