cascadingfailure | Yuletide 2

[ Once you enter the Escape Room, a series of messages pops up on your phones: ]

TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!

[ And then everything goes white... ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The state of the art burger counter comes with everything you need to make burgers! For some reason, it does not make the burgers on its own. This is up to you. Most of it just standard: shitty cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, ketchup, mustard, pickles (held), pickles (unheld), etc.

But some of what is here is treasures. In a bag hanging from the shelf is just one final set of joviality buns. You could make this burger for Lonard, or you could follow the directive of the KING and steal his secrets. What do you do...?

[Totally stealing those buns, then heading over to the ice cream machine]

The Ice Cream Machine is broken. It's a shame, as the FIRST GODDESS is known to be a lover of ice cream. Faint screams from inside the machine indicate she may like ice cream a little too much.

Oh well!

[uhh]

[Is there a way to open up the machine?]

[Going to try and]

[Check that,]

The machine is immune to all forms of physical attack. Please direct all repair requests to WcDonald's Maintanence at (XXX) XXX-XXXX. Thank you!

But also, while you're doing that, you (belatedly) receive:

Free Tiger Poster

Ownership of the Free Tiger Poster! brings joy and fondness for tigers and cures .5 status effects. If lost or stolen, status effects return.

[Helping himself to the tiger poster]

[He hesitates at that phone number. Doesn't seem viable, but he'll head over and try to dial it on the phone, anyway...?]

"_________"

Beep.

Edited 2022-02-02 04:15 (UTC)

[Hhhhuh]

[Okay. Well]

[He put it off for ages, but. Time to (very carefully) approach the deep fryer]

The WcDonald's Rotational Deep Fryer is warm!

It is also WcDonald's claim to fame. The Donald that makes its FRENCH FRIED and CHICKEN NUGGER so WC. There is nothing better than frying food than this magical device. And recently, this unit has gotten some upgrades! Look inside and you'll find that it is powered by one rapidly spinning idol, with enough spiritual power to scramble 10,000 eggs in one second.

[What does the idol look like, and how is it in there?]

She's spinning too fast for you to really tell what she looks like, besides having pink hair. It's also pretty hot. Be careful!

...hey. Can you hear me in there?

"_________"

[Does it look like there is a way to reach her through the machinery? Or would that involve reaching into the oil...?]

Yep, you can just stick your hand in there.

She might slice and dice your hand but, you know,

[Ssssseems bad]

[But you know]

[So does leaving this girl in hot oil]

[That's what Henshin is for, right? Right]

[So. Armoring up and sticking his hand in there,]

Roll 1d10.

[9]

You retrieve the idol without slicing or dicing any fingers! Nice job.

It's Megurine Luka!

Wait, no, it's not. Megurine is dead, because you (general you) monsters (general monsters) KILLED HER. This is the Meringue Luka, an idol-shaped device crafted from the stripped down essence of the poor innocent idol you murdered in cold blood. She has been relegated to mixing strange pink goop and WcFlurries for the rest of eternity with her unique talents. She slices! She dices! And the citizens of Tokyo-F have consigned her to forevermore julienne fries!

Unless…?

Uh... hey. Are you, like.

Are you okay?

[How big is she?]

She's the size of a 1/8 scale figma.

Re: WcDonald's - Kitchen

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[Calling over from the dining area]

Hey, any luck?

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