cascadingfailure | Yuletide 2

[ Once you enter the Escape Room, a series of messages pops up on your phones: ]

TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!

[ And then everything goes white... ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Even as balls are removed, the ballpit replenishes. This is the coveted WcDonald's LOSS PREVENTION SYSTEM, designed to prevent children from siphoning away the precious supply of Legendary Ball WCDONALD. If only there was some way to simply keep all the balls safely away from oneself while descending into the pit...

[okay fine she will deal with this later]

[What's up with the jungle gym? Is it shaped like Grimace please don't be shaped like Grimace]

Oh, don't worry!

Ready to have a fun time climbing through tunnels and riding down the slide, you enter the juNGLE GYM HOLY SHIT ARE THOSE SKELETONS? THERE ARE TWO SKELETONS

[Are they dead]

[...Are they undead]

[Either way she'll prod at one with her extra arm (so from two-arms' length, since she never put it back on,)]

The skeletons are inactive. They do not move when touched. You do not have to worry about being chased by them.

One of the skeletons drops a note when nudged escorted, and the other a magazine.

It seems that those pursued by skeletons...must take care, lest they eventually become one. This is so deep...

[Hmm, seems bad,]

[She will reach for the note]

[And the magazine if she can; maybe it has suggestions for bone hurting remedies... But obviously the note is first priority]

The note reads:

You're so lucky, you're so lucky, you're so lucky! This program could've left you all to die, but that would be rude! Not that you've been any better!!!

This program has made sure to deliver a copy of this program's ultimate quarantine technique. If you can find the Damned Queen's seat of power in her manor, it will weaken her greatly, though you'll still have to defeat her yourself.

A record falls out of the note.

Congratuation! Get equipped with:

Happy Day Record(1)

Please remember that when you feel scared or frightened,
to never forget the times that you felt happy.
When the day is dark,
always remember happy days. 😊

Congratuation! Get equipped with:

OH FUCK! SKELETONS!

The world's finest publication for those who are pursued by skeletons.

Oh...her.

[Huh... Gonna take a minute to maneuver these into her pockets]

[This might involve the use of a feint taking the note and record to someone with more hands but anyway]

[From here, can she go up the slide?]

You can. Live your best life.

[...Walks up the slide

The rides down the slide

whee?]

[...From here can she hit the obstacle course?]

The obstacle course is a hellmaze, from which there is no escape. The skeletons littering it make this obvious. You are not the first child to have lost their life here, and you will not be the last.

Such is life in the F U N Z O N E.

Please roll 1d10..

[Well]

[She will rember happy day and keep going. Mainly because there is no other choice.]

[8!]

Wow! Nobody's ever escaped the Obstacle Course before! The skeletons and [[OBSTACLE COURSE PUNCHING BAGS]] will go hungry tonight!

You escape the Obstacle Course successfully, grabbing a bottle of [[SUNLIGHT]] with [[ORANGE AND TANGERINE]] and [[SOME HEALTHY JUNK]] too.

Congratulations! Get equipped with:

Power of the Sun (False)

Wow! This is a half-drunk bottle of [[THE GOOD STUFF THAT KIDS GO FOR]]! Drinking the rest of this will cure you of one status effect and make you glow slightly. It also is [[HIGHER IN CALCIUM AND VITAMIN D THAN THE LEADING BRAND]]!

If you take off the lid while there is still liquid inside, it functions as an ultrabright flashlight, as if you were almost a Laser Master.

Edited 2022-02-02 04:55 (UTC)

Hey, that was kinda fun, almost.

[Cronchy bones and dubiously-connected hand notwithstanding, she will hold onto the POWER OF THE SUN(?) for now]

[Anyway she is going to take a minute to figure out what other people are up to...time for a text or two]

Yuletide 2 - Battle 1

Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

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Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

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Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E

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Re: WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E