Yuletide 2 - Battle 1

[cascadingfailure]

[ Once you enter the Escape Room, a series of messages pops up on your phones: ]

TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!

[ And then everything goes white... ]

Comments

Re: Damned Queen's Cookies - Lobby

[idolpro]

The shopkeep gestures to the items on the counter.

Displayed for sale are bombs, lamp oil, rope, and one set of Damned Queen's Cookies(6) with accompanying a handwritten note.

There is also a free sample of Damned Queen's Cookies(1).

Re: Damned Queen's Cookies - Lobby

[bondsofsuffering]

...Any of them? All of them?

[heavenlyvisitor]

[ TEXTING FROM THREE FEET AWAY AS NOT TO ALERT THE SHOPKEEPER ]

tenn: What if we kill him

[bondsofsuffering]

[Casually texting back without letting the shopkeep look at his phone. He is but a rude teen.]

Hey, Tenn! It looks like we can get all of it. What do you think? Should we just buy up the whole stock?

Izanagi: Let's try to avoid fights. Unless you're a really good combatant?

[heavenlyvisitor]

Ah ... His deals are too good to pass up, aren't they ... ?

tenn: No.
tenn: But, he's selling bombs.
tenn: We'll set one to go off, and hide somewhere. I can make a cottage if needed.

[bondsofsuffering]

Yeah, that's true. I'll get it all then.

Izanagi: Were you always a delinquent?!!

[heavenlyvisitor]

tenn: I have no sympathy for those aligned with the people who kill us over and over.

[bondsofsuffering]

Izanagi: Let's keep him alive for now, he might be useful later
Izanagi: And also it seems like a waste of a bomb if he's harmless

[heavenlyvisitor]

[ sighs. ]

[bondsofsuffering]

[Reading over the note...]

I think we're going to need to open more of those gift boxes...

[heavenlyvisitor]

Great.

[bondsofsuffering]

Sooo...

My current ideas are: one, we throw the bomb in the freezer from this room and hope it opens the gift box for us and takes out the idol in one fell swoop, or two, one of us goes in and opens the presents while the other stays safe outside.

[heavenlyvisitor]

[ nods. ]

We'll try the first, and then the second if it turns out the presents are bomb-proof.

[bondsofsuffering]

Let's give it a try, then...

Want me to do the honors, or would you?

[heavenlyvisitor]

Go ahead.

[bondsofsuffering]

[While staying in the lobby, Izanagi's just going to set and lob a bomb into the freezer to try to take out the idol.]

[idolpro]

A horrible scream reverberates through the entire fast food industry. (headphone warning) Hatsune Macaroni has been killed. Stocks are down. Chaos reigns.

All idols are afflicted by four of the following status effects:

- Broken limb
- Torn off limb
- Hanahaki
- Tuberculosis
- Crushed limb
- Major burns
- Impaled
- Beaten by invisible ghost for 10-15 minutes with baseball bat
- Death
- Hunger (flesh)
- Skin turns into blood
- Disembowlment
- Need bodily contact for warmth
- All words sound like they are being screamed
- Hunger (blood)

[bondsofsuffering]

[WELL FUCK.

He's fixing his own broken limb, but there's not much he can do about hanahaki and tuberculosis...]

[crossmyheartandhope]

[ow]

[+1 crushed limb, beaten by a ghost, hunger for blood, and broken leg]

[heavenlyvisitor]

[ he is already coughing blood, but now there are flowers as well as the blood.

and-- it's cold. it's very cold, but at the same time-- he's been burnt. is being cold part of the burn? he can't tell.

---the blood from izanagi's wounds is, suddenly, much more appealing than he'd like it to be. ]

Re: Damned Queen's Cookies - Lobby

[idolpro]

The shopkeep shrugs. Like, probably all of it, yeah. You look like you have a whole cash register amount of money? Did you steal that or something?

Re: Damned Queen's Cookies - Lobby

[bondsofsuffering]

We'll take your whole stock!

Re: Damned Queen's Cookies - Lobby

[idolpro]

Congratuation! Get equipped with:

Bombs

Bombs! You throw them and they explode. Easy! You have two (2) bombs.

Lamp Oil

Lamp oil! Contrary to popular belief, lamp oil does not need to be lit. It sets things on fire. But without a fuel source it won't burn long enough to do anything!

Rope

Holy shit it's a snake!

wait no it's just rope. You have rope now! What can you use rope for...?

Damned Queen's Cookies(6)

A pack of the Damned Queen's Cookies! Gone are the days where one must sit staring at a menu to decide what kind of cookies one wants to order - the Queen has graciously decided for you! And what she has decided is that her cookies shall shift wildly between multiple kinds, only finally becoming one specific kind of cookie when chewed on.

Damned Queen's Complimentary Note

NEI🎄HER 🎄HE G❄DESSES N❄R 🎄HA🎄DAMNABLE FAIRY 🎅HALL HINDER ME ANY L❄NGER. 🎄HEIR MUSIC IS BANI🎅HED FROM 🎄HIS LAND. I AM FREE.

HAT🎅UNE MACAR❄NI HAS FALLEN INT❄ MY TRAP AND I HAVE ABSORBED HER ESSENCE AND HIDDEN IT IN A GIFT. L❄NARD'S REALM HAS BEEN C❄NQUERED. THE PURE WATER, FROZEN. THE B❄RGER KING HIDES. I HAVE WON. T❄KY❄-F'S SUSTANENCE MACHINE IS MINE.

You have six usage of MONIES left.

Re: Damned Queen's Cookies - Lobby

[bondsofsuffering]

[He is also taking the free sample cookie before they go!]

Re: Damned Queen's Cookies - Lobby

[sancrimony]

Congratuation! Get equipped with:

Damned Queen's Cookies(1)

A single free sample of the Damned Queen's Cookies! Gone are the days where one must sit staring at a menu to decide what kind of cookies one wants to order - the Queen has graciously decided for you! And what she has decided is that her cookies shall shift wildly between multiple kinds, only finally becoming one specific kind of cookie when chewed on.